


sentiment, a defect

by stormtongue



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Loki (Marvel) Has Issues, POV Second Person, Thor: The Dark World, introspection through theater, more of a thought experiment than an actual fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-10-02 10:54:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17262953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stormtongue/pseuds/stormtongue
Summary: Loki thinks too much.





	sentiment, a defect

**Author's Note:**

  * For [theinkwell33](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theinkwell33/gifts).



**DARK ELF SHIP, SVARTLFHEIM. LOKI stands quietly, watching the harsh wilderness fly by. THOR and JANE lay on the floor of the ship, resting in preparation for what’s ahead.**

 

**LOKI (internal):** It could happen, you know.

 

You think too much. 

 

Better than thinking not enough.

 

Malekith harbors no mercy within those eerie, shining eyes. Least of all for Asgard’s hallowed prince. And you’re delivering him on a silver platter.

 

It would be the right idea, if he did it. The smart idea. It’s definitely what you would do, were you in his position. Knowing your own reputation. 

 

What would be the utility in keeping Thor alive? He’s dangerous. It’s Jane with the Aether. It’s her they need (well, need to  _ kill _ ). And that would be  _ much  _ easier with Thor out of the way.

 

No, that won’t happen. Malekith is too dull for that. If he had any brains he would’ve kept the Aether safe in the first place, and you wouldn’t be in this position. (You’d be in a cell.)

 

Don’t worry, your plan is good. It’s precisely what they want to see - play into your reputation, pretend to be what you are (were?). But Malekith isn’t one for tricks. He won’t like yours. He certainly won’t find you funny or clever. You will be in danger because of what you’ve chosen to do. 

 

That’s fine. You’re not alone. You’re confident in what you’ve come up with.

 

Aren’t you?

 

…

 

What if Malekith does what he ought to? What if he  _ believes  _ your reputation, and gives you a damned good reason not to try and change it? He doesn’t know what you think of Thor. Nobody does. You hide that too well. Malekith might even think you  _ want _ Thor dead. He’ll just be doing what he thinks you want.

 

He’s certainly capable of it. You  _ know _ he is. 

 

Thor doesn’t expect the unexpected. Thor can’t defend against what he hasn’t predicted.

 

(He’s predicted that you’ll betray him. But this isn’t that.)

 

So, Thor dead. At this point, it’s inevitable.

 

…you don’t want to think about  _ how _ , though, do you? That hurts. 

 

No, it doesn’t. This is only a thought experiment. No casualties can be incurred. Still, you’ll skip past thinking about how they’ll do it.

 

How Thor will fall and his limp body will scrape on the jagged, rocky ground. (Not that he’ll feel it, anyway.)

How Mjolnir will fall heavy without any force holding it up. (Will it crack? Shatter into a million pieces? Or simply lay there on Svartlfheim forever, a statue, eternally unable to move. You predict it’s probably the latter.)

How Jane will scream. (Hopefully not for very long before they kill her, too.)

No, you don’t think that. Really. Don’t you?

How you’ll look down at your brother and see those lifeless eyes. The storm is gone. All is calm. (No, you won’t see that. He’ll be facing down, remember?)

 

That will all pass in a blur. You might even forget it, someday. You won’t forget the feeling.

 

Emptiness. Freedom. Because now, what’s holding you back? They’re all gone. You’re out of that cell.  You can be who you want to be now. Hel, Malekith might even give you Midgard! It’s just what you always wished for, right?

 

…

 

Oh, was that too dubious a connection? Did you think there was any chance of doing the right thing once your parole officer is gone? Funny. You ought to try being more self-aware.

 

Maybe you need it spelled out. Here. It goes like this.

 

One. You hand over Jane. You try to feel bad for a moment. It works, but not in any way that would help  _ her. _

Two. They do… something? Whatever it is they do to extract the Aether. You could try and defeat them right there and then, but you’d be unsuccessful. 

Three. You are preoccupied with a rush of emotions. You hate all of them.

Four. You consider dying.

Five. You remember that you wouldn’t see Thor then, anyway.

Six. The flood drowns you, so you uncork it. This metaphor doesn’t really work. Are you really so upset by all of this that you can’t even be bothered to link your symbols together?

Seven. You smile. Turn away from your fallen brother for the last time. Imagine the universe of possibilities. Imagine the countless ways you can betray these newly-allied dark elves. (For fun! Not out of guilt!) You start to think this is a good plan.

Eight. You imagine killing Odin. The family line, gone. You’re free. Unfettered.

 

**THOR jerks awake. The ship is nearing the parlay point. Loki sees and shivers, visibly shaken.**

 

**“Ready?” Thor says, rather groggily.**

 

You can’t describe the feeling. Something like lava, burning you from the inside out. It hurts, but at least the warmth is nice - it’s cold on Svartlfheim.

 

**“Of course,” you snap.**

 

You wipe a tear away and hope Thor didn’t see it. One glance from him has put the chains back on. You’re bound. You’ll have to make your escape another way. 

  
  



End file.
